I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
