if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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