Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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