Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
