so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
