Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
