Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize