I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
