Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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