On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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