We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
