I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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