Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm always down for nudity.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
