I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We got so high we made milksteak
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am one with the molecules
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
