Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
