Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
