I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you win again, gameday.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
