so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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