This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
