He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
