He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
lets start a swedish sibling band together
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
