I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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