he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
