So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
