in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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