Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
