sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
