I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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