U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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