I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
my poor anus
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
