I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
