One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
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