JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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