If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
