I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
