I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
