Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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