Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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