I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
