He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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