either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
