I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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