we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize