Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
