is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
