Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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