I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
