just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
