Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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