My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize