Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am available for nakedness
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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