so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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