yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
