apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
