just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
