ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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