my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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