mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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