Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
