I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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