Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
