Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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