C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
