Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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