what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
birth control should be required to get into college
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
