Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
my liver is dry heaving
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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